I've let myself down.
Back in July, I made a pact with myself that I'd make a conscious effort to lose some weight, get my general fitness back on track and, importantly, get a little bit of life balance back. I kept it up for two months, not missing a day of exercise and started to feel fantastic - then I got ill, and took a day off.
That was it - momentum lost.
For the last few years I've been working ridiculous hours to keep my head above the water, to the detriment of my family, friends and mostly, myself - I've pretty much stopped doing all of my hobbies and it's simply because I feel like crap all the time.
It can't go on.
I'm suffering physically, I have no energy and my mental health is going down the pan as well - when you wake up feeling tired and dreading the day ahead it's hard to stay positive and if I'm honest, I'm becoming a shell of who I truly am - and bloody fat. Which is scary.
The thing is, I have some excuses - it's been a difficult year emotionally what with the traumatic birth of my baby daughter, some extended-family issues and general "life problems", compounded with not wanting to let clients down while running a business on my own. Ultimately though, as with being a freelancer, the buck stops with only one person - me.
I'm writing this as a reminder to myself to look after number one. I truly believe that if a person is healthy and balanced, good things come their way. Right now I'm not, and I'm suffering from it, as is every other aspect of my life. Motivation. Creativity. Happiness. Physical Health. Mental Health.
Time to get back on track.;